Hexagram
I'm going to be completely honest. I hate Wendy. I absolutely detest and loathe the excessive amount of space her fat ass and four chins occupy. If you want to end global warming, zip tie her giant fucking mouth shut so she can't expel more carbon dioxide in one breath than all the cars in America in one year.
Pre-toasted bread makes up for 90% of big fat Wendys big fat "diet."
I also hate people who can't understand what comes out of my mouth is not always the best thing to repeat to fat ass Wendy and her fat ass face.
Context you say?
Marilyn: "Have you seen Wendy's new baby yet?"
Me: "Yeah, I saw it the other day. She was carrying it outside because it was shitting everywhere. She had to ask Al for a garbage bag."
Of course, my first mistake was relating any kind of anecdote to Marilyn because, while I like Marilyn and all, she's fucking nuts. Not schizophrenic nuts or institutionalize-able nuts, but not the kind of person you can get a relay of reliable information from. Also, she's a goddamn blabbermouth. If you say something to Marilyn, you tell every single goddamn person and their fucking neighbor, dog, sister-in-laws cousins uncle, and probably Vladimir Putin.
Thus leading to everybody in the restaurant tonight asking big fat ass Wendy and her big fat ass about how her kid "shit on her."
Did I say, "shit on her?" No I didn't fucking say, "shit on her." I got telephone game'd and hard. I say potato and 3 people later you think we're talking about gophers.
If big fat Wendy and her big fat fatty ass ever get their collective job back at the Gourmet, I will quit. As soon as she penguin stomps through the back door, I'll walk out. I fucking hate big fat fucking Wendy and her big fat fucking ass.
Existence in Progress
! PKMN Breeder James wants to battle. OH FUCK, NEVER MIND.
Blood Gulch is back.
Wait wait, let me reiterate...Blood Gulch: arguably the most incredi-fucking-stupendous multiplayer map is coming back. Original bases, teleporters, and the goddamn baby I shit out my nose in the middle of the holy fucking goddamn right I shit a baby from my nose and did I mention BLOOD GULCH?! Fuck yeah Halo Reach. I might even...buy it.
Just for Blood Gulch.
What the hell is a gulch?
–noun
a deep, narrow ravine, esp. one marking the course of a stream or torrent.
Well, that's a gulch. What's a Blood Gulch then?
ONLY THE FUCKING BEST GODDAMN FUCKING MAP EVER. FUCK, IT'S MORE AWESOME THAN WAVING CHAINSAWS AT BABIES. IT'S MORE AWESOME THAN GETTING A BLOWJOB FROM A PUERTO-RICAN IMMIGRANT IN THE BACK OF A FORD BRONCO! IT'S MORE AWESOME THAN FRYING UP A WHOLE CHICKEN AND EATING IT WHILE YOU WALK DOWN THE STREET IN HARLEM! IT'S SO GODDAMN AWESOME IT'LL WAVE CHAINSAWS AT YOU WHILE IT GIVES YOU A BLOWJOB IN THE BACK OF YOUR SHITTY CAR WHILE YOU EAT THAT GODDAMN BUCKET OF CHICKEN AND KEANU REEVES DRIVES YOUR ASSES THROUGH HARLEM.
BLOOD GULCH.
FUCK YEAH.
Johnny Too Beef
Poor Seamonkey.
Krystle Ford > Dave Hetzel: Happy First Father's Day!!! (technically :p)
This is so awesome I almost had a pregnant. Cruelty at it's finest.
WRAP IT BEFORE YOU TAP IT FAGGOTS.
Eyes on Fire
Hi blog, I'm drunk.
It's only rum and whiskey but shit I'm feelin' good. This computer in front of me is nice. It's momsnacks' laptop. I like it a lot. I want a netbook though. Just for interbutts. Computer GL gave me is LOUD AS FUCK. People think my open air xboxes run loud. Little do they know, man, little do they fuckin' know. This thing probably could launch to the moon. Mars even. LOUD.
Dubstep rules.
Well this is unfortunate.
World Cup football starts Friday. YES. YES. YES. YES. DEUTSCHLAAAAND! I also want to see La Roja put on a show and for the Italians to not make it out of group play. Italian football sucks ass. It's gay and campy. I also want to see Lionel Messi. From the youtube clips I saw, oh my fuckin' GOD. I mean, you want to see ball skills, don't watch porn, watch Lionel Messi.
Trillian emoticons are gay as fuck. At least the standard ones are. :D looks like a pedo face. COME HITHER CHILD, ENTER THROUGH THE SIDE BETWEEN THE BLACKED OUT WINDOWS AND THE FREE CANDY SIGN.
Now take off your pants.
NO DADDY DON'T!
Congrats to the Blackhawks too. They outplayed Philly for most of the series and it's nice to see Chicago fans with something to show for their devotion to their teams. Too bad the Cubs still fucking suck.
Strasburg is a monster. Maybe Schilling was right about Strasburg showing up and being one of the best pitchers in the league right off the bat. I mean, the kid doesn't throw a curveball. He throws a deathball. It's filthy.
Just like your whore mother.
Fur Lined
Suck my dick Samsung.
That was the filthiest drive I've ever seen. Cleaned out the dust and polished the lens and suddenly it doesn't eat copies of Battlefield Bad Company 2 anymore. Should have thought of that before. Heatgunned the RAM chips and the GPU and all was well again. Tearin' it up like leftover meatloaf.
Look Trent! Two for two!
How to Destroy Angels released their free EP today. It's not bad but it's nothing revolutionary.
Well, for me it isn't. Trent Reznor probably thinks it's gonna change music forever. The second coming of Christ, record-style. A woman doing vocals! They'll never expect that! Haha!
Dick.
It sounds like typical Reznor sans his vocals.
It's also relatively disappointing that the best song on the EP is "A Drowning" which was released in April. It's an absolutely fantastic song and you should look it up on youtube or download the EP. You know, so you can make up your own mind you brainless hack. Anyway, after that the only song that's even remotely in the same league as "A Drowning" is "Fur Lined". " It reminds me a lot of "Only". Similar rhythm and beat. Very similar. Eerily similar. Marilyn Manson creepy similar. Then comes BBB. I can't tell if it's an acronym for "Big Black Boots" or "Big Black Boobs". When I listen to it I get a mental image of a LGBT bondage/fetish parade.
There's three more songs on the EP, but to be completely honest, I'm not sure how I feel about the rest of the songs. NIN has always been fairly hit or miss for me and I'm not surprised that HDA is very similar. I kinda wish Reznor would mix it up some but I respect him for doing things his way for as long as he has. I also can't knock on anyone of Trent's stature releasing a 6 track EP for free. I mean, do I look like the kind of guy who buys things?
Of course I don't buy things. Buying things implies that I have money to throw around and that just ain't true.
Well, maybe. After my raise today, who knows? .25 cents is gonna get me far, man. It's kinda sad that it came at Adam's expense but whatthefuck do you expect? I'm an extraordinarily patient person. I have a mentally disabled sister. I live in a region inhabited by the elderly and brother-fuckers. I can tolerate a lot of shit, but only so much for so long. So I called Al and gave him the skinny. 5 months of getting stuck with doing all the work was too much. One shitty day is all it takes motherfuckers, don't you forget it.
I'm gonna go get me a pony now. A bondage pony.
Seamonkey, c'mere.
